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My world shattered around me. This couldn't be true I thought. "What? No.What did you say? Why?" I began to ramble and Kristi stepped in."We told them that you were transitioning to a girl and provided picturesand other records we kept of you. But this next part is going to be hardto hear." Kristi crouched down next to me and held my hand. "I came outto my parents as bisexual a couple years ago and they completely disownedme and kicked me out of the house so I feel your pain honey. I'm afraidyou parents have done the same." I began to cry and Kristi hugged me,Trish produced a letter."They wrote this." I read through it. They wrote about their shock that Ihadn't been in contact with them about this, that I'm a coward, that itwasn't natural. They said that they hoped becoming a sissy girl was worthit, because I have no more family, home, or inheritance. And they endedthe letter by saying that just like I hadn't tried to contact them, theywere never going to try and contact me." I. It became very complicated, a sort of mixture of the need to be punished mixed with the sexual arousal that was all but consuming me. When a black man looked back at me, that made me feel better. He wanted me; why didn't Bobby?So I began to frequent places where I would be able to see or interact with the men in my fantasies. The local supermarket was first on my list. Black teenagers used the car park as a meeting point and the brazen way they looked at me when I arrived on a shopping trip was a real turn-on.After a while I started to tease them by dressing more provocatively—low cut tops, no bra, short skirts...There was a particular young guy I liked—he was eighteen or nineteen—who actually worked in the supermarket. I always made a point of using his till to check out my purchases. His name was Antony, and the intense way he always looked at me had him regularly featuring in my masturbatory fantasies.He was the perfect bridge between my imagination and real life, not that anything.
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